{"id":7236,"date":"2021-02-01T14:41:48","date_gmt":"2021-02-01T14:41:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sites.reading.ac.uk\/connected\/?p=7236"},"modified":"2021-02-01T14:41:55","modified_gmt":"2021-02-01T14:41:55","slug":"why-we-are-not-all-equal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.reading.ac.uk\/connected\/2021\/02\/01\/why-we-are-not-all-equal\/","title":{"rendered":"Why We Are Not All Equal"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

To celebrate LGBT+ History Month, CONNECTED talks to Hafsa Qureshi \u2013 Stonewall Bi Role Model of the Year 2019 \u2013 about her experiences of coming out and her upcoming lecture: \u2018Why We Are Not All Equal\u2019 at the University of Reading on 3 February.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"Hafsa \u2013 who uses the pronouns she\/her \u2013 is currently a client account manager at Stonewall<\/a>, who enjoys playing video games in her spare time and currently lives in Birmingham. She is also bi, Muslim, disabled and has become an influential figure in the LGBT+ community in recent years.<\/p>\n

As well as seeking to improve awareness of queer people of faith, Hafsa hopes to educate both people within and outside of the LGBT+ community on the issues that people of multiple identities \u2013 such as herself \u2013 can face throughout life.<\/p>\n

Hafsa shares with CONNECTED what her experience of coming out was like, how she found herself becoming an influential role model for the LGBT+ community, and the themes she\u2019ll be discussing in her upcoming lecture at Reading.<\/p>\n

Coming out<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Hafsa shares an insight into her experience of coming out as bi, and how she has learnt to come to terms with people\u2019s judgements of her.<\/p>\n

She said: \u201cWhen I first came out in my personal life people made assumptions about me. I have worn a hijab for 15 years and I am a practising Muslim, but when I came out as queer my devotion to my faith was instantly called into question by my community.<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cPeople wrongly judged me and assumed that because I\u2019m queer I\u2019d automatically be abandoning my religion. I\u2019ve received death threats since coming out, but what hurt the most was being called a \u2018kafir\u2019 \u2013 which means a non-believer \u2013 by my own community.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u201cMany people from Muslim backgrounds struggle with faith \u2013 in fact, you\u2019re meant to struggle with it \u2013 but for me, it\u2019s being a queer Muslim that is a struggle. This is who I am, but in the eyes of my religion, I shouldn\u2019t exist.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hafsa believes that she\u2019s achieved the best case scenario in terms of her community accepting her for who she is \u2013 in the form of apathy.<\/p>\n

She said: \u201cSettling for apathy is my best case scenario. My fellow Muslims now pray next to me and don\u2019t comment on what I do with my life. Apathy is a much more achievable goal than hoping to be celebrated for who I am within my community.<\/p>\n

\u201cI also received a less obvious, but nevertheless negative response when I came out at work. I got involved in the LGBT+ network at the Ministry of Justice and agreed to be profiled \u2013 my face went up on posters which were impossible to miss \u2013 suddenly everyone knew I was queer.<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cI noticed that people who had happily spoken to me the week before, now avoided me \u2013 they walked the other way if they saw me coming. Coming out definitely had an impact on the way people treated me.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Hafsa has reached the point where she no longer allows these negative people to have an impact on her life.<\/p>\n

She said: \u201cInstead of pursuing true acceptance within my existing community, I realised that it\u2019s important to look outwards and make my own. I have a wonderful friendship group and a fianc\u00e9 who looks out for me. I\u2019ve also made lots of amazing, inspirational friends through my LGBT+ work.<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cI no longer care what people have to say about me. My concern is how other people \u2013 children or those more susceptible to influence \u2013 will feel on hearing and seeing this derogatory behaviour towards members of the LGBT+ community.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Becoming a role model<\/strong><\/h4>\n

 <\/strong>After getting involved in the LGBT+ network at work, Hafsa found her role as an influential figure snowballing far beyond what she could\u2019ve anticipated. She said:<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cPeople started emailing me to ask for advice. It was really lovely that people wanted to be just like me \u2013 already out \u2013 but it was also sad that so many people didn\u2019t feel they could be. It\u2019s not simple for many people.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u201cThen in 2019, when I heard about protests at Parkfield Community School in Birmingham over the curriculum being LGBT+ inclusive, I decided to try and help. I hoped that by being from the same community and speaking the same language \u2013 with the only difference being that I am queer \u2013 I would be able to help these parents understand the importance of an LGBT+ inclusive curriculum.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hafsa was further propelled into the limelight when the Chair of the LGBT+ Network at her work nominated her for the Stonewall Bi Role Model of the Year 2019 Award<\/a>, but didn\u2019t tell her until she\u2019d won.<\/p>\n

She said: \u201cI was very surprised and happy when I heard I\u2019d won the award. At the same time I was also nominated for and won two other awards \u2013 the Asian Achievers Award and the Gay Times Top 100 Honours Award \u2013 so I ended up winning three awards just for existing. I didn\u2019t think I was doing anything special; I was just being myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

After winning this award, Hafsa became more involved with Stonewall and, upon learning that they hired people based on their potential and their lived experience rather than simply their CV or possession of a degree, she kept an eye out for jobs there.<\/p>\n

She said: \u201cI am now a Client Account Manager for Stonewall, working with organisations who are looking to improve their LGBT+ relations within their companies. It\u2019s a difficult programme but it\u2019s important to push organisations to do better and be better \u2013 to say we\u2019ll go one step further than what the law says we have to.<\/p>\n

\u201cI love the work I do \u2013 in both my professional and personal life. I find it awkward talking about myself and I\u2019ll be honest, I never intended to become a role model.<\/p>\n

\n

“But I receive so many positive messages from other queer people of faith who are being told they can\u2019t be religious because of their sexual identity, that I know I have to do everything I can to help other people be themselves.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Looking to the future<\/strong><\/h4>\n

While Hafsa never intended to become the influential figure she is today, she nevertheless has high hopes for the future.<\/p>\n

She said: \u201cI work with so many other incredible people who shy away from the limelight, but still do amazing work, and I hope to inspire them \u2013 or newcomers to our community \u2013 to step forward and take on the mantle from me.<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cHowever, while I didn\u2019t intend to be the influential figure I\u2019m told I am today, I do have very lofty goals and aspirations for the future. I want the world to change and I want the media to change the way they talk about minority groups.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u201cFor example, the way the media talks about transgender people is reprehensible \u2013 and it\u2019s similar to how they used to talk about gay men as predators \u2013 it\u2019s just been sublimated. It feels like there always has to be a group that\u2019s targeted in some way to be blamed for the misfortunes of the world.\u201d<\/p>\n

Register for Hafsa\u2019s lecture<\/strong><\/h4>\n

 <\/strong>Hafsa gives an insight into the topic of discussion at the University\u2019s annual Wolfenden Lecture on 3 February<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

She said: \u201cI keep hearing that the world has changed and is a better place now; people make assumptions that we\u2019ve fixed the problem just because we don\u2019t use certain words anymore.<\/p>\n

\n

“But instead, the way that hatred and bigotry are presented is different \u2013 it\u2019s more coded, or shielded through micro-aggressions \u2013 but because it\u2019s less glaringly obvious, it allows people to side-step it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u201cYes progress has been made, but we now have the problem of \u2018othering\u2019. This is what I call it when people believe that they can\u2019t be contributing to the problem, but that other people are the problem.<\/p>\n

\u201cPeople also need to be aware that the world was built against people of colour, against gay people, and against those with disabilities \u2013 so to say you treat us all equally without seeing differences doesn\u2019t work, when some of us have to work harder than others to exist in this world.\u201d<\/p>\n

Join Hafsa to continue this discussion on 3 February at 19:00 (GMT)<\/strong> \u2013 this virtual event is free to attend. Register your place now<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

To celebrate LGBT+ History Month, CONNECTED talks to Hafsa Qureshi \u2013 Stonewall Bi Role Model of the Year 2019 \u2013 about her experiences of coming out and her upcoming lecture: \u2018Why We Are Not All Equal\u2019 at the University of Reading on 3 February. Hafsa \u2013 who uses the pronouns she\/her \u2013 is currently a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":170,"featured_media":7208,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false},"categories":[6],"tags":[64,70,120],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhy We Are Not All Equal - Connected<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"To celebrate LGBT+ History Month, CONNECTED talks to Hafsa Qureshi about her upcoming lecture: \u2018Why We Are Not All Equal\u2019 at the University of Reading.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/sites.reading.ac.uk\/connected\/2021\/02\/01\/why-we-are-not-all-equal\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why We Are Not All Equal - Connected\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"To celebrate LGBT+ History Month, CONNECTED talks to Hafsa Qureshi about her upcoming lecture: \u2018Why We Are Not All Equal\u2019 at the University of Reading.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/sites.reading.ac.uk\/connected\/2021\/02\/01\/why-we-are-not-all-equal\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Connected\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-02-01T14:41:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-02-01T14:41:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/sites.reading.ac.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/43\/2021\/01\/shutterstock_image-4-1.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"550\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"juliasmalley\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"juliasmalley\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Estimated reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sites.reading.ac.uk\/connected\/2021\/02\/01\/why-we-are-not-all-equal\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/sites.reading.ac.uk\/connected\/2021\/02\/01\/why-we-are-not-all-equal\/\",\"name\":\"Why We Are Not All Equal - 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