{"id":9792,"date":"2023-02-20T12:08:54","date_gmt":"2023-02-20T12:08:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites.reading.ac.uk\/connected\/?p=9792"},"modified":"2023-02-20T12:15:04","modified_gmt":"2023-02-20T12:15:04","slug":"a-life-shaping-experience","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sites.reading.ac.uk\/connected\/2023\/02\/20\/a-life-shaping-experience\/","title":{"rendered":"A Life-Shaping Experience"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

As part of LGBT+ History Month, CONNECTED speaks with graduate James Fletcher on his experience of coming out at the University of Reading and his commitment to volunteering.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"James James, who studied Politics and International Relations<\/a>, embarked on his higher education journey as the first in his family to go to university. Despite this, James found university to be the place that shaped his subsequent career choices, way of thinking, and found him friends for life, as well as love.<\/p>\n

James said: \u201cI come from a very supportive and loving family in South Wales. I was the first person in my family to go to university, though when I was at Reading, this wasn\u2019t something I thought much about. It was a brilliant three years and I absolutely loved my degree.<\/p>\n

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\u201cReading is a wonderful campus university where you get to know everyone. It\u2019s a place where you can get involved in fun things, meet lots of people, and it feels like a safe environment.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

James spoke to CONNECTED to share his insights into what coming out at university was like and what could be done to better support the LGBTQ+ community, as well as his passion for helping others.<\/p>\n

An inspirational year<\/strong><\/h4>\n

James\u2019 enthusiasm for life at Reading led him to successfully stand for election as President of the Reading University Students\u2019 Union<\/a> (RUSU) for 2012-13. Alongside this role, James was also chair of the RUSU Trustee Board, having previously served as President of Bulmershe Junior Common Room and as a Student Ambassador for the Student Recruitment and Outreach Office.<\/p>\n

He describes his \u2018sabbatical\u2019 year at RUSU as an inspirational moment which started him on the path towards his career in the charity sector.<\/p>\n

James explained: \u201cI think the charity sector is full of amazing people who do all they can to make the world a better place. I\u2019m so inspired by them every day. The example set by others encourages me to play my small part in making the world a better place too, and I hope that I have been able to succeed in doing that.\u00a0<\/p>\n

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“It was during my time as President of RUSU that I decided that the charity sector was where I wanted to focus my career.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

And it really was the place for James. Since leaving RUSU, James\u2019 career has focused on raising philanthropic gifts for charities and universities and he is currently Deputy Director of Development at Oriel College, University of Oxford.<\/p>\n

Outside of his paid career, he is currently the Chair of the Board of Trustees for the KFC Foundation<\/a>. This foundation is the giving arm of KFC UK and Ireland, which donates between \u00a31-2 million a year to charity. The aim of the foundation is to support grassroots organisations that empower children and young people across the UK, helping them to fulfil their potential by providing safe places for them to unlock their talent.<\/p>\n

James said: \u201cWe all know that there are periods in everyone\u2019s lives where you come to a junction, and there are a number of paths that you could choose, all of which could lead to different outcomes. In the formative teenage and young adult period these junctions come thick and fast. That\u2019s the period that we focus on at the KFC Foundation.<\/p>\n

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“We are there to help young people unlock their potential and build a positive future, helping them to build life skills to improve their chances of gaining meaningful employment. We want as many young people as possible to avoid contact with the criminal justice system, and to improve the life chances of vulnerable people.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

James also sits on the board of the John Lewis Partnership\u2019s Golden Jubilee Trust<\/a> \u2013 this organisation supports John Lewis and Waitrose Partners in volunteering for a charity of their choice while continuing their employment. Each secondment facilitates projects that the charity would otherwise struggle to achieve. Last year, 25 Partners were supported by the Trust, each of whom made a huge difference to their charities.<\/p>\n

James believes that the time he spent at the University of Reading played a crucial part in preparing him for the path he has taken within the charity sector today, and he continues to support students of the University as a regular donor to the Enabling Students fund. James said:<\/p>\n

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\u201cSupporting students and providing financial aid helps to break down a number of barriers to success, reducing the threshold for enabling people to get into higher education. This means that university can become a place where everyone can thrive without the burden of financial worry.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a very small amount a month to contribute to help somebody at Reading. When you think about it, it\u2019s less than a pint of beer.\u201d<\/p>\n

A chance to be myself<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Along with introducing him to the charity sector, James describes his time at University as giving him the opportunity to be himself. James came out as gay during his tenure as RUSU President, and although he was fortunate enough to have had a positive reaction, it was an insightful experience.<\/p>\n

He recalled: \u201cThat year was a real grounding for the rest of my life, which sounds quite grand but it\u2019s true. It was a time when I really just allowed myself to be myself. I was lucky to have the support of my colleagues, who were my close friends too, and of University and SU colleagues. I was proud, and knew that others felt the same. I am so grateful for their kindness \u2013 they know who they are.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe whole process gave me the confidence to be who I am and to meet my amazing partner of what is now ten years. We have had a great decade, and that is thanks, in great part, to our initial meeting at Reading.\u201d<\/p>\n

Despite having a positive experience, himself, James is aware that not everyone does. In his view, the best way to support someone who is struggling or just starting to open up about their identity is to just listen and be supportive in the way that those who are coming out need. He said:<\/p>\n

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\u201cIt\u2019s important to remember that for the person who is coming out, it\u2019s a very big deal. Even if it\u2019s not a big deal to you, the listener.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u201cAnd saying that you\u2019ve \u2018known all along\u2019 is definitely not the thing to say. They may have spent many years struggling with who they are, it is not affirming for them to find out that they were the last person to know.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe best support I had is from those who just listened. Of course, I didn’t get the words right. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to say. So, I needed a few people to listen in order to give me the opportunity to speak \u2013 to just monologue and get it wrong in front of them so I could get it right later.\u201d<\/p>\n

Room to grow<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Whilst support of the LGBTQ+ community has come a long way in the decade since James came out, there is still room for improvement. Indeed, James notes that in societies around the world, some LGBTQ+ rights have been in retreat.<\/p>\n

James explained: \u201cIt\u2019s been amazing to be part of the LGBTQ+ community. We continue to adapt to welcome more and more people \u2013 so that they have visibility and a voice. Of course, we have more to do. Those of us who can should strive to make our community \u2013 and the wider world \u2013 better for those who need us to do so.<\/p>\n

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\u201cI think that the trans community needs a lot of allyship from all of us in society. We need to fight for everyone who is LGBTQ+, not just a select few. There\u2019s a whole body of work that needs to be undertaken on how we support our friends in the trans community. We can\u2019t be complacent.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

James believes there is a societal job to do \u2013 we should all be part of the celebration of diverse identities, and of love wherever it is found. He said: \u201cIt\u2019s just giving people the space, love, and opportunity to be who they want to be.<\/p>\n

\u201cHopefully there\u2019ll be a movement in that direction, where we\u2019ll just continue to celebrate each other\u2019s lives and the diversity that makes the world a lovely place to exist in.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhile we celebrate the LGBTQ+ community, we should also remember there are people who aren\u2019t able to be themselves in other parts of the world because of the regime which they live under. Similarly, there are still those who are unable to safely come out still within the UK \u2013 for whatever reason \u2013 we need to celebrate their lives and fight for them too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Useful links<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Dr Ruvi Ziegler, Chair of the University of Reading\u2019s staff LGBT+ network<\/a>, has recommended a number of sites for those in the LGBT+ community who are in need of support:<\/p>\n